Ash Wednesday

It's Ash Wednesday again. I've been celebrating Ash Wednesday in my own sort of way for several years now. Usually, on Tuesday night, I write down some things I want to stop doing. I then put that sheet of paper on a shelf over night. In the morning, I burn the piece of paper, wipe the ashes on my forehead and go through the day.

This Ash Wednesday, I decided to receive Ashes at a Catholic Mass. It was something very different for me, and though I went through the "proper" channels to get the "sacred" ashes on my head this year, part of me feels like I appreciate the old way better. I don't think I identify with them as well as I did last year. These are palm fronds from last year that were burned and prayed over and sanctified and made beautiful and redeemed yadda yadda yadda... last year it was just a sheet of paper with bad crap on it. Somehow that seemed better to me.

Somehow it seemed like I honored the day more when I knew what the ashes really were. Today, the ashes represent my mortality and things like that. But in past years, the Ashes meant change. They meant an old me that I was ready to burn up and leave behind. Strangely enough, those uglier ashes, gave me a lot of hope. I think I'm going to do the old Ashes again next year.