People have been talking about Virginia Tech all day. I am totally stunned, and I've been having so, so many thoughts. My mind has been screaming all day long "How many people died... We kicked students out of the building after they threatened to do the same thing here... Could that really happen at WJU... Is it wrong for me to want to watch the news... Where is God... What do I say to people who ask me where God is... Why do I feel like I have to watch the news right now... Is it a good thing that we all have access to this... Why don't we get this upset when suicide bombers kill thirty people in Jerusalem... How long will it be until this story gets buried beneath the next days news... Why would someone do this... Who is responsible for this... Why didn't they close school sooner... 30,000 people starved to death today and we don't care... What would we do if this happened here... Am I insensative for thinking about myself... I wish he hadn't killed himself... Part of me wishes someone else would have killed him... Horrible ... ... ..."
I don't know what to think. I don't know what to say, and I'm pretty sure there isn't anything appropriate to say. I don't know why I'm even bothering to write any of this, but I did feel like I should say something.
It's horrible.
3 comments:
similar thoughts ran through my head. i called you yesterday to hear what was going on at your campus, but i figured you were dealing with stuff when you didn't answer. i can't even say what would happen if something like this happened at my school. i mean we pretty much have all of the kids at our school that pose this kind of threat in public schools, example: yesterday i got a new student. he has been institutionalized 4 times. he has been diagnosed as bipolar, schizophrenic and as having schizo affective disorder. he is on a laundry list of meds, some anti-psychotic. he has a history of lighting fires and brags of torturing animals. oh, he is 12. scary? it's the norm at our school.
I completely had a lot of the same thoughts as you. A friend that I made my freshman year here goes to Virginia Tech, and instantly I thought of him.
I hated Facebook yesterday.
I know that we've all hated it at some point in time, for being "stalkerish" for being a distraction for already distracted students, for being a less-fun MySpace ripoff. But I saw all of the groups that have popped up like "Remember Virginia Tech" and the "Virginia Tech Memorial Group" and couldn't help but think to myself, "How long are these people going to be in this group? And what does it matter if you join it? Or if your status says you're praying for the people there? Just because I didn't change my status or join a group doesn't mean that I don't care and that I'm not praying." And I felt inadequate. And I got angry that other people were "making" me feel inadequate.
Then I realized, however, that it's all just an expression of people's concern, and that whatever their mode of expression, be it away messages, Facebook, MySpace, a blog, a diary, a telephone call, or a conversation, it's their mode of expression. And that shouldn't affect mine.
I mean, what am I doing right now?? Blogging about my feelings. Some people say (and have said) that I'm retarded for blogging. But that's my new thing (thanks in part to you).
And regardless of how temporary the news coverage is, and how insensitive the media is, we individually still have our thoughts, are emotions, and our reactions and those aren't temporary.
Thank God for Facebook (I never thought I would say that), but my friend's status confirms that he's ok. My mom thought of me and sent me an instant message. No phone calls. No "real" communication or interaction, but expressions, nonetheless.
I'm glad you're thinking those things, and I'm glad you blogged those things.
I am so, so sorry.
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