Absent Minded: Food Bag

My brother Tim has been bugging me to blog a little bit about a part of me that I don't mention to often on the blog, and last week, something happened that fell into that category. See, Tim says that I'm a very smart person, and for the most part I agree with him. But he thinks it is very funny how absent minded I am, and I agree with him there as well. So, to honor Tim's request, I'll be writing these down from time to time and when I do, they'll be titled Absent Minded. These will all be in the vein of the Free Air post I wrote a while back about when I wanted to save fifty cents and I totalled my car.

Here's the first, er... second, of the Absent Minded posts.

Last Tuesday I was on my way out of the house, I got everything packed, grabbed my keys, stuck Norah in her stroller, and pushed her out the door. I went out in the hall, shut the door and when I went to lock it I realized I couldn't find my keys. So I pushed Norah back inside, checked all around the apartment, checked my pockets, checked the counters, flipped the couch cushions over, everything. I couldn't find my keys. So, there I was rooting around through Norah's pajama drawer when I felt something on my butt. I checked my back pocket and there were my keys.

Well, I was glad to have my keys, so I went to the door, pushed Norah out into the hall and started walking down the hall thinking "Why in the $%##@ did you put your keys in your back pocket? Who puts their keys in their back pocket?"

Then, we went outside. I pushed Norah in her stroller down to 53rd Street and talked with the homeless guy Liam outside of Dunkin Donuts for a while. We walked the eight or nine blocks down to Maya's house, I went inside, took Norah out of the stroller, and carried her up the stairs. Just as I knocked on the door, I thought to myself "Every time Maya takes Norah, I fumble around with Norah's stupid food bag that is strapped around my shoulders. I always look stupid trying to bring it up over my head and it knocks my hat off, so I'm just going to take it off before Maya comes to the door today." So there I am standing in the hall waiting for Maya came to the door, patting my chest where the food bag strap usually is thinking, "food bag... food bag... hmmm......" Maya opened the door just as it occurred to me that I did not have the food bag.

So I handed Norah off to Maya, and walked the eight or nine blocks back home. I stopped to talk to the homeless guy Liam outside of Dunkin Donuts, turned up Kenwood, and went into our building to get the food bag. I got to the door, and pulled out my keys and they wouldn't turn the lock. Sometimes, our lock sticks, so there I am in the hall pushing on the keys trying my darndest to not swear very loudly because the key is digging into my thumb and the stupid lock won't budge. Finally I give up and try turning the key the other way. You guessed it.

I hadn't locked the door.

So, I went inside and looked all over the house and couldn't find the food bag anywhere. Again, I'm walking around the apartment looking on the counter, looking in the fridge, looking in the hamper (you never know), looking everywhere I can think to look. Then, I remembered that sometimes I leave the food bag in the pouch in the back of Norah's stroller. Which is at Maya's. I hadn't checked there before I left, and at that point I was pretty sure that I left the food bag in the back of the stroller at Maya's. Needless to say I was pretty uspest with myself for having walked all the way home when the food bag was at Maya's all along. But, since I was in Norah's room, I thought to check her room real quickly before leaving for Maya's. So, I opened he closet and looked in her crib, and as I turned to leave her room, I saw her pajama drawer was still open, and the food bag was sitting right there. While I was somewhat annoyed that I had left it at home, I was also somewhat glad that I had not left it in the back of the stroller at Maya's and walked all the way home to look for the stupid thing.

So, I grabbed the food bag, walked to 53rd, talked to the homeless guy Liam outside of Dunkin Donuts, walked the eight or nine blocks back to Maya's apartment, went up the stairs, knocked on the door and dropped off the food bag with Maya.

So that's my story about the food bag last week. I know what you're thinking. "That's not that crazy. Everyone leaves the house every now and then and forgets to bring the very thing their children rely on for sustenance and survival throughout the day." Well, yeah. But let me confess: When I dropped Norah off at Maya's and realized I didn't have the food bag, my exact words to Maya were: "I forgot the food bag... again."

Yeah. That was the second time.