Short People - Randy Newman

Rachel's Favorite Sister Amanda and Brother-in-Law Andrew told us that we needed to listen to this song because it pretty much sums up the purpose of our existence. We listened, and we agree.

Short people got
no reason,
Short people got
no reason,
Short people got
no reason to live.

They got
little hands,
little eyes,
they walk around
tellin' great big lies.
They got
little noses
tiny little teeth,
they wear platform shoes
on their nasty little feet.

Well, I
don't want no short people,
don't want no short people,
don't want no short people round here.

Short people are just the same as you and I.
(It's a wonderful world.)
All men are brothers until the day they die.

Short people got
nobody,
short people got
nobody,
short people got
nobody to love.

They got
little baby legs
and they stand so low
you got to pick 'em up
just to say hello.
They got
little cars that go beep, beep, beep.
They got
little voices goin' peep, peep, peep.
They got
grubby little fingers,
and dirty little minds,
they're gonna get you
every time.

Well, I
don't want no short people,
don't want no short people,
don't want no short people 'round here.

UFOs

I was recently watching an episode on the Discovery channel about UFOs. It seems as though a whole lot of the pictures of UFOs were accidentally taken. People stand by the grand canyon, and snap a photo. When they get home and they're looking through the pictues, "AH!" a UFO shows up in the distance just over their heads.

After watching the show, I thought, what if some of my pictures had UFOs in them, and I'd never noticed... so I looked back through my photos, and well, you won't believe what I saw, so I'm just going to show you.

The first photo was taken in Oglebay park. I was astonished to see how many deer there were in the park and I snapped a quick photo. I couldn't get all the deer in the picture, there were four more on the left. It appears as though the sun cast a glare into my camera, and so did the UFO above just above the tree line on the left hand side of the image!

This next one I never would have noticed if it hadn't been for the Discovery Channel.
I thought the light in the top left-hand corner was a street light, or a building,
but there are no buildings there, and the street lights are closer to the street.
It must be... a UFO!

Again, this one I probably wouldn't have noticed were it not for the images that follow.
This is my buddy Sean at an Indians game.
And that, in the left above the buildings, is a UFO!

This is a UFO I caught on film on my flight to Mexico. The Aliens must have been studying Sirrus cloud structures.

There's the same UFO to the left of Wendy's head! (She's the one with the Nike shirt on.)

I couldn't believe this one at all. It seems as though Hokusai also saw UFOs and depicted one blowing papers out of the hands of these folks! I can't believe it!

At first I thought something was wrong with this picture, but the more I think about it, the more I realize, it must be a UFO as well. Geez, those guys are really studying me.

I wonder if all this Alien activity around me might help explain why my ears bleed every time I eat corn.

Look at the UFO over Donahue! I think that's one of the vendor UFOs. You know, one of the hot dog guys, but for aliens. Ain't it purdy?

Originally I didn't even look at this picture because it was blurry. But when I looked at it again, I noticed the little Alien Ninja behind the brick wall! What a close call! He must have just crawled unnoticed from my anal cavity. And I thought it was just a big fart.

Now, this isn't a UFO, but I was stunned when looking to see this guy at Jim's graduation. Look over Mom's left shoulder.

That's right... It's the KING!


And Tim probably won't be shocked by this one, but take a look at who I photographed after having dropped a big ol' duece behind that SUV!

I know what you're thinking... there's no way those were all in my personal collection... but they were. Clearly. So there you have it. Incontrivertable proof that UFOs and Bigfoot exist, and Elvis Presley is still alive.

Man, you really should go look at your old pictures. Who knows?

Rachel's Final

Well, it's finals time and Rachel was working hard on her big paper for the semester. She had over 17 pages to type in the morning the other day, and she asked me "If I finish my paper today, will you take me to dinner?" I told her sure.

That day, I came home, and she was doing her darndest to get the paper finished. She even made a little "Paper Thermometer" to motivate herself to keep going.

I just thought it was funny how she does stuff like that. (And it just reminded me of something Marisa would do, further proving my point that Tim and I married the same woman.) Here she is hard at work.

The Paperometer is on the wall between the windows. It's tough to see here...

I love the "YEAH!" card.