Saturday, May 30, 2009

One more week

In one week, I'll be done with my first year at U of C. It's been a really amazing year, I can't believe all that I've learned. I am really excited to stop classes so that I can sit and wait for the world to stop spinning long enough for me to reflect on where I am relative to where I began. This summer should be good for that. (In between trying to go through Hebrew Grammars, teach myself German again, and write a paper that I can use to petition to PhD programs.)

Anyway, I'm not writing about any of that today, because I have to work on a paper that is discussing an Assyrian incantation to protect someone who has received an omen that portents the destruction of his household. Instead, I've decided to tell you that this morning, Norah is running around the apartment while Rachel cleans everything in sight, wearing her pajamas, gold colored sandals, and swimming goggles. That's when you realize that all this academic stuff is neat, but really, all I want is to be a kid again so I can run around the apartment in my pajamas wearing golden sandals and goggles.

(Our camera is broken so I had to take this picture with the computer. But you get the idea.)

Tuesday, May 19, 2009


Ever have one of those days where you are walking around, and it's gorgeous outside, and everything is right in the world, and then you suddenly just feel like it all falls apart? Not that everything fell apart by any means, but today, for whatever reason, I'm just feeling like I'm in over my head. This program is so chalk full of incredibly brilliant people, and some of them are so freaking good at this stuff, that I am just feeling a little bit out of my league. I know that I can do this, and I'm not fishing for compliments or anything, I'm just trying to get it out there. Sometimes, you just don't think your going to last very long swimming with the sharks.

I'll get over it, and I'll translate a few more chapters of Genesis today, and work on a paper on Gen. 14, but sometimes (and I imagine most people feel this way every now and then) I just feel like I've fooled someone, there's no way I'm smart enough to be here, doing this, no matter how much I love doing it.

Now I'm nervous that everyone's going to leave comments about how I AM smart, and I CAN do this. I know I am, and I know I can. It's just... one of those days.

Ok. On to translating.

Friday, May 15, 2009

Goodbye Mr. Lambdin!

Today, at 9:40, I closed the cover of Thomas O. Lambdin's Introduction to Biblical Hebrew, and I won't have to open it again until September!

Needless to say, there has been a spring in my step all day long.


Wednesday, May 13, 2009

Akkadian Magical Incantation

I'm taking a class on Ancient Near Eastern Myth and Magic this quarter, and we just got into the texts on Magic. And, since this spell I just read was so similar in it's subject matter to the previous post, I figured I'd let you read it. It's called:

Against Flatulence
Wind, O wind!
Wind, you are the fire of the gods.
You are the wind between turd and urine.
You have come out and taken your place
Among the gods, your brethren.
So next time you're on a hot date accidentally blast one out, instead of looking all embarrased, you can just say this spell, and everything will be okay. Who knows, maybe it even helps prevent skid-marks!

This is from Foster's translation in: Benjamin R. Foster. Before the Muses: An Anthology of Akkadian Literature. CDL Press: Bethesda Maryland, 2005. p.973. (I figured I'd cite it since I copied the whole incantation down, I want to make sure I don't violate any copyrights or anything.)

Tuesday, May 12, 2009

Charmin Bears

So there I am, hanging out on the couch with Rach, watching some TV just minding my own business, when one of those disgusting Charmin commercials comes on.


You know the commercial I'm talking about, the one with the cute little teddy bears, out in the woods with bits of toilet paper stuck in their butt hair?!!!

What the heck? Wha... who? Whekaeonaiodi ae!?!?!?

Ok... two questions:

What advertising agency said to some company exec, "So yeah, then we do a close up on the shredded bits of crusted nasty old toilet paper stuck in its butt hair."

And more importantly, what company exec said "Good idea! Here's thirty thousand dollars."

What the @#$%!! is Charmin thinking? Those commercials are probably the A-number-one-single-most disgusting things I have seen on TV. I'd rather watch a thousand condom, KY, tampon and douce commercials back to back than sit through one more Charmin commercial with a close up on the butt hair.


Sunday, May 03, 2009

Things I said on my Walk Yesterday

Norah didn't nap well yesterday morning, which was unfortunate because I still have to translate three chapters of Genesis for Monday's study group. But because she wasn't sleeping, and because it was such a nice day, I decided to take her over to the play ground, and then walk to the grocery store. She loved swinging in the swing, and managed to walk up to the slide all by herself! But the walk to the grocery store was probably the best part. Rather than describe the walk, I figured I'd just list some of the things I said on the walk to give you a feel for how it went.

"Okay Norah, it's time to go to the store now."

"No, that's not our big wheel. Ok, let's go"

"Look a bird!"

"No, don't eat that... yuck YUCK! Ewww... Ok. See, oh sick."

"Yeah, that's what you get for putting dirt clumps in your mouth."

"Oh did you find something. Ok, thank you."

"Um, you just gave me a bee."

"No, that's not our house."

"Okay, but we can't run out into the street okay."

"No, that's not our car, we can only open our car."


"Norah, that bush has pricklies on it."

"Ok, stop smacking at the bush."

"No, that's not our house."

"We have to hold hands crossing the street."

"Can you say Hi!"

"Now I think that bush has pricklies too. Don't swat at it."

"No, Norah, we're going to the store, not the restaurant."

"You can't pick that rock up Norah, it's part of the sidewalk."

"Oh, did you find another stick!"

"Okay, here we are. Let's get in the cart."

The walk back was much less interesting because my brother called from Europe and needed me to check something out online. I knew it would take forever for Norah to walk home, so she went up on my shoulders and I carried the groceries. But, she was not happy about being up there so for the whole walk home I was basically pumping out one arm while using the other to keep Norah on my shoulders while she ripped at my glasses and smacked my head and screamed. As I passed families on the sidewalk I tried to look normal, but sometimes you just gotta do what you've gotta do.