Saturday, August 30, 2008

Cute Animal Forwards

I just emailed my little sister about this, so she already knows what I'm about to write.

In order to really understand this post, it's important for you to comprehend just how passionately I abhor cute animal forwards. I get them from time to time, and it sends me into a burning rage that usually culminates in my kicking something soft and cuddly. I've actually been thinking of trying to find a clip of Ozzy Ozbourne biting the head off a bat so that I can watch it as a sort of remedy for when I accidentally see one of those cute animal forwards.

My little sister Katie sends me forwards from time to time. Not often, but every now and then. Today, I got a typical Katie forward with the following pictures and many more. They're respective captions are listed below the image.

THIS IS WHAT SORRY LOOKS LIKE

This is what intimacy looks like

This is what cool looks like

Those three images there are pretty much enough to send me into a tailspin of rancor and seething paroxysms of maniacal conniptions and murderous fury. (Yes I'm using a thesaurus to try to fully convey my anger.)

So, you can imagine my surprise when I open the email from Katie, I see something like this:

THIS IS WHAT COLD HANDS LOOK LIKE

And I say, "Awww."

I MEAN SERIOUSLY! I should be FURIOUS! But for whatever reason, I'm all warm and fuzzy and giggly inside. That little kitty just looks so darn cute, and the way his belly puffs before he blows on his cold little mittens... I mean who can't love th--- wait! What am I saying?! I hate that crap! What THE Hffghghgngingdkdadlsk! ERGH!

But there's just something about a forward full of cute fuzzy animals when it comes from my little sister. If anyone else had sent me (or sends me... don't even think about it...) this forward, I probably would have thrown heavy glass mixing bowls out of our fifth story window onto people walking their dogs. But, when it came from Katie, I smiled. I don't understand it, but there it is.

So, thanks for the forward Katie. I have absolutely no idea why, but *gulp* I liked it.

Now, I have to send it to fourteen people or my liver will explode and some poor armless baby in China won't recieve his prosthyetic robotic ninja arm surgery.

8 comments:

dmay said...

i agree with your post and apologize for sending the cuddly cute puppy licking the screen link. hope no-one perished in the surrounding area as a result of your violent and explosive rage. :)

Joshua said...

Oh, I forgot all about that! I loved that one, no don't apologize at all. I'm actually going to go see if I can set it up as my screensaver right now.

joeldaniel said...

call me immature but the first thoughts when i saw "cold hands McCat" were...

1. this is what a cat fart looks like.
2. this is what a cat smokin' a doobie looks like

Joshua said...

Nice. I didn't think of that, but now that you say it, maybe that is a little kitty Cheech.

Anonymous said...

We need to post a picture of a cat at the top of a shower stall screaming. With the caption "This is how NOT to give a cat shower." Followed by a video of a cat at the top of a very sappy pine tree crying for help, then as Tim gets to the top the damn cat hisses and runs down the tree (caption: Help a friend in need). Oh then there is the one where you law in bed at 3:00 in the morning and the bastard is slamming himself into you window again and again making to loudest banging noise just above your head like a burglar is trying to enter. Or you wake up at 2:00 in the morning to someone bowling in the hallway, to find it is just the stupid cat running down the hall at full speed and sliding across the kitchen floor until it slams into the oven just to turn around and do it again.

And we wonder why Josh LOVES cats.

Joshua said...

That's right folks, those are all real stories starring our friggin' nuts cat Moe. Man, that cat was INSANE.

Who could blame him though? Remember when we dropped him from the roof of the minivan to see if he would land on his feet? Poor cat. No wonder he peed on my clothes.

Tim 2 said...

Nope, that was Jim peeing on your clothes...

Besides, Moe was cool because he had that tough cat notch missing from his ear. He could take out any dog (with the exception of Maggie) within two square blocks...okay...maybe that is an exaggeration...

Tim & Deane said...

The reason it is okay with you to get these emails from Kate is because Kate and kittens just naturally go together - sincerely. For her it is not a gimmick. Inside Kate is a little girl who just loves kitties.